The car .. its like a freaking Confessional

I am fixated on the road, concentrating on what's ahead and can only periodically look over to the child at my right.
THEY KNOW THIS!
This is where I am told their deepest darkest secrets , those secrets have changed over the years and have a lot more weight these days.

I have heard about drugs, alcohol, sex.... 3 cheers to mainstream music which has also created such conversations as "Alien Sex" thank you Katy Perry for THAT shitty day at school, and of course S+M courtesy Rhianna. You might think that as a Passion Parties Consultant and living the Human Body Experience that I would have an arsenal of thoughtful educational responses to these very valid questions of what are these acts exactly... BUT I DON'T !

I am possibly not as reactive as some may be,  but when your 12 yr old son is singing " ssss mmm ssss mmm" in the car on the way to school and all I can think is that he is going to wander in there belting this Rhianna fav thinking the choir teacher is gonna frikken recruit him due to great skill that I tend to lose my shit for a second.
It's true , I shoot from the hip ... when I said in my first post in this blog I am very real, I meant it.. I speak to my kids in public the same way I speak to them at home, I don't put a show on for the masses...( my son once gave me hell in the Principals office for saying "shit show" when he had started a fight)... so I clearly responded with " what the fuck are you singing?"
which very quickly turned into a short and clear conversation about S+M, a pretty minor 12 yr old appropriate description and I sent him to school for a FULL day of  "sometimes when two adults trust each other 100% they participate in some things where one is left unable to move and the other adult touches in places the immobile adult finds pleasure in" running through his head  .. Jesus , if I were religious THIS is where I would start praying wildly.

I then release this child into the wild for the next 6 hours of his life, on a new medication that has certainly begun to control his impulses and I beg of the Universe to let him get through the day without one mention of our Bondage talk in the confessional .. I mean CAR!

At the end of the day .. he is just a boy trying to make it through a day without being bullied, feeling he is treated the same way as the other kids in every way.

So Far so good .... and here is my disclaimer

to those of you that I silently passed judgement on you for putting your kids on ADHD meds .. I sincerely apologize from the absolute bottom of my heart .. you didn't know that I judged you as I judge the parent with the kid on a leash in a mall.... but I probably did.

I believe things happen FOR us not TO us ... and I think this walk through ADHD is here for me to become a more understanding woman , a better friend and the best Mom I can be.

Quote of the day " Mom, I really thought when I was not on medicine that I was normal and I was really angry that you wanted me to be different, now that the medicine helps me I finally feel like I am the ME that I am supposed to be"

BOOM!

There IT is ... FOR us not TO us.
He is kind, loving and sensitive, not the monster I feared he would become on the path he was beginning to take.

I GET IT NOW :)